Building Bridges Instead of Burning Them, Part 1

The sincerest form of flattery is not imitation (or, in academia, plagiarism), but friendship, emulation, and "paying forward" whatever positive outcomes relationships generate. I have been running from relationships most of my life, and I have refused to hear those few scattered souls who tried to say into my willfully deaf ears that I made a difference, helping them to solve a problem, pursue a dream, or sustain a good feeling. I shrugged off any attempts at lasting solidarity in the same way I adamantly rejected small kindnesses and celebrations of life (gifts, rites-of-passage like birthdays, graduation ceremonies, etc.). Afraid of the commitments and fragilities embedded in any social bridge, I peremptorily burned all my bridges through not-so benign neglect or active hands-on sabotage.

I've been burning my bridges since I was a kid, when I imprinted this response from my bitter, angry, impatient, and volatile father.

Until now. Especially in the past month I have been shocked, scared, and humbled by a small but veritable outpouring of kind words and gracious acts that have demonstrated that my works and/or deeds have had positive effects on others. And, in my very belated recent effort to rise from the ashes, and to CROSS bridges instead of BURNING them, I have suddenly found that I can actually help to BUILD bridges too!!!!! And, in the act of a hands-on building of bridges, I can feel closer to wonderful individuals and all of humanity...

A hand/heart!!!!!

I already noted in my post from Oxford University (I'm still in shock that I got to go there! What an amazing honor!!!!!), that two young academics showered praise on my research/publications, and said that it was useful or even inspirational in attaining their own considerable achievements... I have received two e-testaments to the same effect from other Workshop participants in the weeks that  followed. Finally, I recently received a kind e-note of appreciation for my contributions to the Workshop from my Oxford host, with the suggestion that I will be among those invited back in the new year for a second Workshop to build on our discussion, and prepare papers for publication!

These comments of appreciation, IF the recipient is willing to hear them, are themselves inspirational, In my case, they have made me realize that I can and do make some modest contributions within this vast universe, and that I must follow through with more of my research being turned into published works...

"It was a dark and stormy night..."

...even as I continue growing my solitary sprouts of hope for a greener, thriving future in my "anonymous" blogs!

(Note: Now that I have a new academic affiliation, I plan to write grant proposals to raise a small fund for the materials that would allow people dependent on food-banks like the amazing Food for People to grow some of their own food [various types of sprouts that can be produced in their rooms, on windowsills, and even in encampments]; it's SO easy you can learn about it from Natasha St. Michael on YouTube! Progress of this project will be posted here when it occurs, hopefully by the time that spring has sprung after the cold wet grey winter that the locals insist is on its way...)

A hand/plant!!!!!

Then, last week I told my dearest friend (and former lover) that I really enjoyed a local blog by a young woman describing her life, work, and knowledge here in Eureka. Ms. "X" must have thought I was showing off when sometime later she checked out Ms. "Y"'s blog, only to find that the latest post there was inspired by that blogger's developing friendship with me! I was myself surprised, flattered, and humbled to be the subject of a straightforward and heartfelt reflection on life, limitations, and fears suddenly confronted and altered for the better! So I recommend that any loyal reader check out the writings of my new true friend at Dammas's blog.

A scary but helpful tip from Dammas's blog: umbrellas don't work well in Eureka's many down-, sideways-, and up-pours!!!!! She recommends hoodies, so I went out and bought one on sale before the seasonal deluge commences...

Although it might appear that I am bragging (and maybe I am!!!!!), what I am more in touch with feeling is humility and apprehension. I find it humbling to know that some people have noticed my meager efforts, and have transformed those works into new and enriching discoveries of their own. And I am apprehensive because of my lifelong fear of not measuring up to the exacting standards of others in my family, community, profession, etc. Like Dammas, I am well aware of the fact that I am complex, perplexing, paradoxical, and far from "perfect" (whatever that is!); like Dammas I fear that some others will focus on the abundant negative aspects of my persona in order to diminish and dismiss my efforts to produce somethingS good.

A hand bridge of strength in numbers!!!!!

But, Dammas and I, along with so many others, have taken inspiration from the youth, the marginalized, and WORKERS, more and more of whom have been putting it all on the line in recent weeks all over the world -- despite the demonization of the rich and powerful -- to demand better Wall Streets and Main Streets everywhere on the planet. (I kick myself for being sick this whole last month, and for therefore doing far too little in the way of active solidarity! The lesson here is to take care of yourself, because your body is not only your Temple, but the means to the satisfying ends of standing up for your basic Human Rights.)

Actual workers say "Enough is enough"; join those representing the 99% of Americans against the endlessly ruthless and gluttonous 1%!!!!!

These protesters are also standing up to fight against the elite's use of some workers, especially the police, to coerce and abuse all other people standing up (in the tradition of populist protesters of every age) for the average American as opposed to the privileged few.

Beauty and the unwitting Beasts...

So, with a bigger, more hopeful heart, mind, and spirit, I pledge to make new social bridges with the people in my classrooms, my co-op, the farmers' markets, the food-bank, the laundromat, and on the streets everywhere and every day!

Every attempt to suppress the people brings more of the 99% to the streets!!!!!

I hope to see you there!!!!! We can join hands, become friends, and help reverse course to save this planet, which is our only possible home.

How can we let the already filthy rich continue to defile our collective house in their rush to accumulate even more wealth? It takes 32 years to count a billion dollars, one per second, yet we permit 1,500 individuals to be billionaires! It takes 32,000 years to count a trillion dollars, one per second, yet the bankers and speculators got their political buddies to give them 16 trillion dollars during the "economic crisis" that the rich had caused and profited from! No wonder the government says it's broke, and that it has to cut services (like education, good paying jobs, food for people, social security for the old, and heathcare for the sick, etc.)  to the 99%!!!!!